Tommy Time

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Scandals of Asheville Current mood: aggravated Category: Parties and Nightlife June 11, 2006. Last night I went to Scandals.  What a joke.  Are they kidding me??  It was like a scene from "This is your life!", or should I say WAS my life.  Techno music.  All Techno music.  I used to be a fan of Techno music in 1993.  What got me the most was the fact that the music was the EXACT same music DJs were spinning at raves and clubs THEN (13 years ago).  I asked around to see if it was Flashback night or something.  No dice.  After about 45 minutes of 2 Unlimited and what sounded like old Prodigy, I literally wanted to snatch the DJ out of the booth and shake some sense into him. Helloooo!!! What about Missy Elliot, Kia, Kanye West?  Damn throw me a bone here.  Top 40 would’ve even made more sense. My plight was as follows……Saturday night, biggest gay nightclub in Asheville, to my knowledge, playing crappy OLD techno music.  The only reason a handful of people were dancing was because, what else were they gonna do?  I spent $5 to get into Scandals and $1 to park in their lot, and while inside I had two Ketel One dirties and a bottle of water.  I was there from 12 am until 2 am, peak time. As far as nice looking men, there were a few.  (Except for the fat gay guy from Beetlejuice who tried rubbing my leg while wearing leopard-print gators.  I wanted to scream "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!!", and make him disappear). Around 2 am, I left in disgust after seeing possibly the worst drag show OF MY LIFE!!!  And the emcee, some latin queen, while looking at me, made a comment about confused white boys trying to be black.  WHAT????? Are you kidding me?? I am confused?  He’s up there in high heels, and I am confused.  But in hindsight, I think I was confused.  Confused as to why I was ever even in that establishment, watching a less than attractive, over-processed, bad-bottle-blonde, she-male throwing offensive comments at patrons who are paying her salary.  What got me the MOST is that I think he actually used the word "Wigger!!!"   People use that word? HA HA HA.  I must have been on Mars for 13 years or something.   Come on.  I was wearing my trusty NY Yankee hat backwards!!, (Go Yankees),  A blue UNC t-shirt with Diesel Jeans and black Nike Shocks.  I am an understated, t shirt and jeans kind of guy and those who know me, know that I rarely look sloppy or messy. I have some style.  Maybe she should let me teach her something about style, progressive trends, vocabulary and also CLASS!!  I could at least re-do her hair color, as I am a Master Hair Colorist and Stylist and would not mind doing a bit of charity work for a low-budget drag queen.  My mom always told me you can’t teach someone to have class.  Either they have it or they don’t. Same with being a DJ, I assume.  He had access to a lot of great progressive music, a great progressive city and supposedly the best night club there.  Sadly, he fell short.   I will say, in the defense of the establishment, I was told the owner died recently.  My prayers go out to his friends and family.  I am hoping that  that is what’s affecting the staff.  However, even with that knowledge, coupled with my first-time experience there, I do not think I will personally go there again nor will I take any of my New York or out-of-town friends there, unless they want a good laugh!!  In all, it was a waste of $6 and my precious time as life is short.  I did, however, get a laugh out of it.

Hello Friends.  I miss you all soo much already.  I have some pics from the party for those of you who want to grab them.  I will post some later of my new home in Asheville and my cute convertible.  I have adapted very well to NC.  For all of you who said I would be back in three weeks <LOL>  Thanks to all for the many yaers of friendship and support.  You are all in my dreams and Unitl we meet again, you are all in my prayers.  Godspeed, my peeps.

For those of you who really know me, you know we welcomed twins into the world 3 months ago.  Lexi is the girl and Cole is the boy.  Well my mom told the most amazing story.  She was watching them the other day and Cole looked over and for the first time recognized Lexi and smiled the biggest, toothless grin ever.  What a precious moment.  We are truly blessed.

As I Mature I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes  suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, the kids did it

The most important thing that I’ve learned is that the people you care most about in life are taken from you way too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

I love this one.

So we were out, had a blast and took New York City by storm once again.  Here’s a quick preview.

Me and STANCE!!

SALONEES

David and Lauren, The Future MISS USA

Me and Nell Carter

Erica, Don, STANCE and Jeff. MuWaHZZZZ.

The Hair Studio

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms……….WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS!